The Red Leather Skirt

It's 5th grade. Popularity is now in full force at Roosa Elementary. Sadly, I didn't make the cut. I looked at a group of girls that once invited me to their slumber parties, but now wouldn't give me the time of day. Then, I began to figure it out (or so I thought). It's all in clothes. They were always decked out in their Units belts and Dexter shoes (hello, flashback!). I was always decked out in my Multiples belts (Dillard's knock-off) and Payless wanna-be's. But one day came, and I had it. My ticket into that little group that hung out in the hallway before class. My mom grabbed it off the sale rack--my new, red, leather skirt! I should mention here to think sweet, innocent red, leather skirt, not Pretty Woman red, leather skirt. Anyway, I distinctly recall showing up that day with a whole new confidence. I spotted the cool-girl circle and went for it. What I expected to happen was for them to turn and see me coming and immediately stand in awe of my gorgeous, expensive-looking outfit, and say something like, "Wow, Amy! You're so cool. Why don't you be popular like us!" However, the story went another direction. I walked up and I'm pretty sure they didn't even notice me for awhile. Then, I heard them talking about people I didn't know. I kept trying for a place to say something, but there just wasn't much I could say. A few of them gave me the look like, "Um, who are you and why are you here?" It hit me hard--the painful truth that my one outfit wasn't enough to get in with them. I turned to see my friend Sarah and couple of others (probably wondering, "what is she doing?") and decided that I liked them better anyway. And they liked me too, with or without the red, leather skirt.
I suppose the lesson is obvious. Be okay with who you are, right? But as I look back, there's a sense of pride in myself for going for it. This is what I read this morning in John 12: "But if you let it (your life) go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal." Keyword: reckless. I struggle so often to put myself out there in my relationships. To walk up to that group of friends and join in like I should've already been there. Of course, it's not for the sake of popularity, but for showing them God's love. If I will just stay focused on the fact that my motivation isn't self-acceptance, the reckless part will come naturally. So, go for it! That family member, co-worker, neighbor, whomever, needs to know the love in your heart far more than you know.