Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Thoughts of a Pastor's Wife

Wow, just writing the title of this post makes me cringe a little.  I have a hard time saying that I'm a "Pastor's Wife".  There are too many stereotypes and connotations that come with it.  It isn't that I don't want to be one.  I just hate that I can't tell people that's what I am without wondering if something changes in their perception of me.  I'm already starting to be treated differently for bearing this title.  Fortunately, it's been pleasant so far.  We have volunteers that have made me feel like they've got my back on everything.  One family in particular has especially communicated this to me.  They help me with Camden on Sundays and make sure I'm available to talk to our guests.  It's amazing, really, but I'm still not comfortable with it.
Another thought that's making me squirm is the issue of finances.  Ricky and I have yet to be paid from The Well--by choice.  However, as soon as it's possible, we plan/hope for that to change.  It's been so hard for Ricky to be working a full time job and get the church on its feet at the same time.  Thus, it hasn't been easy for the rest of us.  So what happens when we start to get income from the church?  And then what happens when we decide to get a new car or I show up to church with a new outfit?  It bothers me that this bothers me!  I certainly don't plan to squander any of the money God sends our way, whether it be from Ricky's job or the church or wherever.  I've just never been so aware of the importance of each dollar coming from the people of The Well.  I know some are giving truly by faith.  And that will never change.  There will always be those giving that have very little means.  So here I am.  Yes, Ricky and I each have degrees, we're both ordained, blah, blah, blah.  That doesn't mean I should live in the lap of luxury either.  
I hope some of you other "wives" can help me on this one.  I also hope to hear from those that aren't.  This is my first time to really be "The Wife".  As a church member, I never once thought anything about the pastor and his family getting or spending too much of my hard-earned tithe.  Perhaps I just didn't think that deeply about it.  What I do know is that I cannot live my life worried about what people think--especially when it comes to the way we handle our finances.  I suppose I just need some clarity, and a little comfort.  :)

3 comments:

Casey said...

At the risk of responding the same way everytime....I FEEL THE SAME WAY! I struggle a lot with what people think. I feel like I have to explain everything to everyone that comes to my house or sees something new that I get (usually my mom buys it...ha!). I know God doesn't want me to walk around explaining everything that I own. I know that the people that really love and support me don't expect that either. And, in fact, they are very happy for us when we are blessed. BUT....my brain, my mind, and my emotions struggle with that guilt and anxiety of spending money and people watching. It comes with that title..."pastor's wife" for me. I am working on it tho and hopefully it will pass some as I let it go. I hope you can feel some comfort in my equal uncomfortableness in the same issue. :)

taranderek said...

amy... You are not just a Pastor's wife, but a great wife and mother of those 2 beautiful boys! and you are working... whether or not people accept it is their problem. You and Ricky are devoting your time and money (up front) to provide us a great enviroment, experience, and wonderful new friends. you deserve what ever you want! i feel that every stay at home mom deserves everything on a silver platter. sorry i think this came off a bit rude. but i promise i'm not trying to be. Enjoy what u receive, and give. let them judge for they will be the ones who are judged in the end.

Kim Masengale said...

Hey Amy. Having been on staff at a church plant for the past 3 years I have watched our lead pastor's wife struggle with the same thing. But, know that it is only in your mind and it isn't something that those in the church or staff are thinking about. We rejoice when God blesses our pastors because we know that all blessings come from the Lord and not from the tithe check that was written. In fact, I think most people in our church give with even more joy knowing that we are giving to bless not only God, but bless these leaders that have sacrificed everything to follow God's direction, and in turn when the church blesses the pastors, the people are blessed.