My #1 Battle

Lately, I've been in a hurry.  We've had a lot on our plate, which is to be expected, but my hurry hasn't been very productive.  This week it finally caught up to me.  Sunday after church, I met up with a sitter (Cassie--love her!) to watch the boys while Ricky and I had lunch with some friends.  I got Camden out of the car and, while turning to talk to Cassie, shut the door.  Only, I didn't get my finger out of the way in time!  Ouch!  It's been three days and it's still swollen.  In a few more days, I'm sure the nail will give way.  Yay.  

That, among many other things, has had me rethinking how I go about my day--and my life.  You see, I'm not one of those people who are highly organized--the kind of person that can't go to sleep until the dishes are done.  You might be one of those lucky people.  I've seen your kind.  You have a place for everything and everything in it's place.  Trust me, I LONG to be like you.  I just have no idea how.  I'm frustrated by the behaviors that cause the chaos around me.  I know that most of the time it comes down to my lack of planning, or keeping up with tasks while they're still small.  I've always been a shoot-from-the-hip kinda girl.  Yes, I know, that makes the care-free, fun-loving type, but at some point you've got to grow up, right?  While I know that I've improved considerably over the years, I'm still hitting this wall everywhere I turn.  I HATE this!  If I could change anything about me, it would be this.  

I know that the difference between myself and person A goes all the way down to the difference in the way we think.  I look at those dirty dishes and feel an insurmountable weight, a motivation to sleep, eat, or anything but take care of that mess.  Person A looks at those same dirty dishes and is motivated into action and gets it done.

And it's here where a holy conviction comes in.  I'm certainly not trying to compare myself with anyone including Person A, but I know that God has better for me.  First of all, "God is not a God of disorder" (I Cor 14:33)--hello!  Secondly, Christ came to set us free (see New Testament!).  I don't want to squander that gift.  I know I could do better for myself, my family, and Christ's Kingdom if this one area in my life were free from this.  So that's my goal, my focus.  If I can work to run a half marathon, I can work to change the way I behave.

How's that for authenticity?